; love .

Tuesday, August 17, 2004

out.

grrs.

i can't let go.

what's wrong with me.what's wrong.what's wrong.what's wrong.everything's just falling apart.it hurts.feels like a freaking knife tht pierces.pierces so deep.i wanna scream.but the sound just gets stuck there.choking me.it refuses to go away.it just stays there.irritating me.the tears have flowed.flowed unceasingly.there aren't any left.i feel empty.devoid of all feeling.just a lasting numbness.that stubbornly refuses to go.i can feel it.the warmth is being stolen away.its replaced with a tiny lil layer of frost.so sublime.you can hardly believe its there.you think its your imagination.but no its there.as sure as the sun is shining in the sky rite now.subtlely it spreads.and takes away the fire.shivers run up my spine.that look.its mind numbing.i can't think.i don't wanna think.i shouldn't think.but i am thinking.what's wrong now ? how can this be happening ? i noe its my wrong.but everyone makes mistakes.i didn't want this to happen either.but it just did.i didn't do it on purpose.reallie i didn't.but you just gotta take my word for it.every word you say.strikes me.it hits me hard.like a punch in the stomach.there's a fist around my heart.clenching tighter and tighter with your every word.your every action.leave me alone.please.i beg you.please stop it.you're cutting me up.and leaving me out for the prey to take.desperation is knocking at the door.there's no one tho.not a soul.why ? oh why me ? i can't handle this.its just too much.im crumbling under this facade.there's not much i can do.im fighting a lost battle.the pressure's mounting by the second.im drowning in a sea of sorrows.both mine and others'.the thoughts are strangling me.deceit is staring me in the eye.where? oh where is the exit ? just let me run away from it all.let me get away from this mess.but there is no door.no opening.not even a window through which a glimmer of hope can pass through.someone.anyone.help me?

please don't read the above.

im just letting out everything.trying to let go.

; rachh
5:00 PM